Catching My Breath!

The day after my last blog post, the hubs had a brain aneurysm. He came out the end as good as new, and I couldn't be more relieved! It certainly brought our relationship to a whole new level. It was great before, but now there is certainly more gratitude about the time we have together.

A question I get asked frequently is "Were you scared?". There wasn't time to be. Everything happened so fast. We were taking it as we were dealt with it, and having to make decisions quickly. I got to have my meltdown when they rolled the hubs into surgery, but it was a healthy meltdown. The next question I get asked "Wasn't anyone with you?". No, no one physically was there. I think that was best. I think I would have felt obligated to keep it together if someone was there. Because when I break down, it is ugly and worrisome. When they wheeled Brian back in, he was chatty and "drunk". Then I wasn't worried anymore. The whole experience was amazing. He was in agony, and then two hours later he felt great. He just kept getting better. I almost felt guilty his parents drove/flew down from Pennsylvania in record breaking time to be there when he got back - I know they were glad to be there and see for themselves he was fine.

Looking back at the whole thing, I probably should have been more terrified. I don't think at the time I had all the information about what usually happens when people get brain aneurysms. People love to tell you stories about how they know someone who was 26 years old with a wife and four babies who died from a brain aneurysm. There's nothing more comforting than hearing that (sarcasm). Rest assured, we witnessed first hand in the Neuro ICU what the usual outcome is for brain aneurysm. Poor Brian got severe survivor's guilt every time he had to go for a walk down the ICU unit. Every other patient was not usually even conscious. When Brian walked down the ICU unit it was like a parade. All the nurses would get so excited to see a walking patient. I sometimes think the walk was better for the moral of the staff on that ICU unit.

Once Brian was on the mend, my focus changed fast. Nothing like the possibility of health and financial disaster to really get one motivated. Our two weeks in the hospital really kicked things into overdrive. Usually, I don't take on more than one commission at a time with the same deadline. Motivated by the need to pay hospital bills and the weeks the hubs was going to be out of work while he got back to 100%, I signed two commission contracts with the same deadline and a third soon after. I'm thankful that worked out, and that people have faith in my compositions, it gave us more latitude financially. However, I had to ramp up my work. If it paid, I didn't turn it down.

What should have been a month of hanging out with the hubs while he healed, turned into the craziest month of taking care of Brian, juggling work, family, dogs, and sleep. I do have to say I never slept better during that month. If I laid down on the bed I was out. I am grateful to friends and family who helped take care of us during that time - some of them I missed because I fell asleep during the visit. Friends did everything from showing up with magazines to help with the boredom (not mine!), buying me dinner - because you forget to eat, to getting my paycheck to me so we wouldn't miss a mortgage payment, and even a friend who stayed the weekend last minute while Brian was in the ER and transferred to Emory. All those little things really made a huge difference. So next time this happens to a friend, even just showing up at the hospital to say hi or giving them a couple bucks to hit up the vending machine can really help out. It doesn't take much in a time like that. I know I never know what to do when friends are in that situation - it doesn't have to be a big gesture to make a huge impact.

So Brian is back to "normal" and so am I by the time October rolled around. It's been a flurry of flute playing, teaching, and composing. So much happened, I'll have to space out the posts. The next 4 months look equally packed. Then May will hit, and I will long for these days that are too busy to blog about any of the events. For now, this post explaining my absence will have to do. I'm pretty sure the "My Husband Had An Aneurysm" excuse has been played out by now. Don't worry, we joke about it, but we know things could be a lot different and that is not lost on us. I'm thankful we get more time together.

Summer Insomnia for Flute Choir

This summer has certainly been uncharacteristic for this freelance musician. Typically, I'm working on one commission and more than likely trying to make Christmas arrangements (my biggest seller) to make up for the lack of income from vacationing students and the drought of gigs. This summer, however, I have found some flute love.

At the beginning of the year I always make a list of pieces I would like to compose in case I find myself without a project to work on during the year. Most of the time the pieces I plan to work on vary in instrumentation and form to help me keep things different and fresh. This year has been the year of the flute, however, and it doesn't look like I am going to write a piece where the flute isn't the featured instrument.

Flute Choir of Atlanta premieres Summer Insomnia

I suppose it makes sense that my main instrument is the same instrument of my commissioners. It certainly is the instrument I am most comfortable composing for, obviously. I usually meet other flutists at flute fairs and the National Flute Association Convention who have heard a piece of mine there and would like me to compose a certain piece for them.

I just had a piece for flute choir premiered at the 2015 National Flute Association Convention in Washington, DC. this month. I was commissioned by Flute Choir of Atlanta, under the direction of dear friend Kathy Farmer, to compose a piece for flute choir with the hopes to perform it at the National Flute Convention. The program was called "American Seasons" and that I could pick whichever season I would like. I had been experimenting with cricket and insect sounds using the flute with other pieces, but this time I could experiment with the sounds on a bigger scale in a flute choir. So I picked summer, the height of bug season.

I had found memories as a child spending the night at my great aunt and uncle's farm in Dearborn, Missouri. The days were warm and the nights were cool. The windows were always open at night. I remember on particular night staying at the farm for the first time without my parents or sisters. Falling asleep listening to the crickets, but then a my imagination ran away with with me. Needless to say it resulted in me waking up my great aunt and uncle and having them drive me an hour back to St. Joseph, Missouri where my parents and sisters were staying with my grandmother. So this is for my poor great aunt and uncle who gave me wonderful memories and never complained about driving me back to my parents in the dead of night on that long gravel road.

That night was the inspiration for the piece Summer Insomnia. Some of the extended techniques were new for many of the members of the flute choir, but what troopers they were about learning! I not only had the privilege of composing for the choir, but I got to play with them as well. It was a wonderful experience and and experience I'll never forget. They even made me a special bug crown!

So the question now, as always, what's next? I just finished another flute choir commission for the Atlanta Flute Club. It's a piece for the 10th Annual Flute Choir Extravaganza event on November 15. So far there are 5 flute choirs signed up to join the premiere performance, with a possibility of a couple more. That will be an amazing experience to stand in front of all those flute choirs and conduct a premiere of my own piece.

I will premiere another work of mine for flute and piano, Three-Nine Line, with pianist Ipek Brooks on October 3. Now, I am just about to start putting the first notes on the page for a flute and trombone duet commissioned by Dr. Shelley Martinson. I also have a couple of commissions out to be signed and negotiated...yes they are for flute. Of course I have my usual load of students, Terminus Ensemble performances, and Perimeter Flutes has a plethora of performances coming up as well. Needless to say, I am going to take advantage of the holiday weekend to get the house in order so that our house isn't condemned by Christmas....

Flute New Music Consortium also interviewed me. Watch me try to speak English, shockingly my first and only language, but I'm not sure you can tell:

This Is Summer?

Every year I summer comes around and basically I white knuckle it until October when work picks back up (ie students and gigs). This summer is no different in the student and paid gig arena, but in the composition department is has been a record breaking season for me - well as far as summer is concerned. This summer has been filled with commissions, performances of my works, and a competition win!

My summer kicked off in the win column when it was announced in June that I won The Flute View's Composition Competition. Winning a competition is rare, especially for me. Winning meant a little money to help us get through June (record breaking low since I started teaching - thanks students for getting awesome and going away to music camps). It also meant a lot of publicity as well as a premiere of the my winning composition Percolate for flute trio. I haven't heard the premiere yet, but I'm sure it was amazing since it was performed by Viviana Guzman, Andrea Fisher (Fluterscooter), and Alice K. Dade. Did I mention that there was all sorts of publicity tied to this? There was a Youtube interview and a podcast interview with The Flute View.

As if that wasn't enough, there were all sorts of festivals and music camps which included performances of my pieces. At Flutapalooza, I performed my piece Tamar for flute quartet with Perimeter Flutes. Dr. Mary Matthews and Matthew Angelo performed Chatter for two flutes at the Maryland Wind Festival. Then Dr. Elizabeth Robinson and Dr. Shelley Martinson took Railroad for flute choir to the music camps where they were faculty and performed them. Is this summer!?! I'll take it every year.

August is shaping up to be a good month as well thanks to the National Flute Association Convention. The Flute Choir of Atlanta directed by Kathy Farmer will premiere Summer Insomnia for flute choir that they had commissioned specifically for this performance. (Purchase availability coming soon!) I will join forces with my sister who is a physical therapist to give a workshop about pain prevention called "When Tooting Your Flute is a Pain in Your Neck". So I think this summer certainly makes up for last summer.

There's been bumps in the road - AC breaking in the car and the house, a flat tire, health junk. But we got through it. The hubs even quit smoking! How awesome is that!?!

Summer Is Coming

Well it's that time of the year where students go off to their various vacations and summer camps, gigs dry up, and I'm left with free time - and this time a commission! Although, its not a large commission, its something, and it could lead to other things. At the very least it will get some money coming in to make up for a few missed students. Like last year, summer there are fun things to do. Unlike last year, we are hoping to dodge any and all depressing life set back (all pets and cars are required to stay healthy this summer).

So what am I doing this summer? Let's start with my favorite part...I have a commission! This past year has been all about composing for flute, and this summer will be no different. The Atlanta Flute Club has commissioned me to compose a fanfare for the 10th annual Flute Choir Extravaganza that will happen November 15. I love commissions where I know who I am writing for and there is a definite premiere date in place. Nothing worse than never hearing a piece performed that I had written. When I am done with my current self appointed project, I might dive into that next. Personally, I might try to write something short without flute just so I can make sure I am varying my writing a bit. Still, I can't wait to hear a GYMNASIUM full of flutists perform my fanfare.

I'm also doing a bit of playing. On Sunday (5/31), I will perform with Terminus Ensemble. I FINALLY get to play Dr. Charles Knox's A River Runs Through It for flute and piano. It's a beautiful piece and I am glad I get to play it with Dr. Ipek Brooks. I will also be performing Olivia Keiffer's Two Horn Unicorn for flute and viola with Mike Brooks, and Glasz by David Garner. Looking forward to playing more with this ensemble.

On June 27, I'll be attending Flutapalooza. I'll be there performing with Perimeter Flutes, presenting "Beatboxing to a Better Bach", and selling my wares at the Spotted Rocket Publishing booth. It will be a very busy day!

And that's about it until the National Flute Convention in Washington, DC in August. My sister and I will present "When Tooting Your Flute is a Pain in Your Neck" and the Flute Choir of Atlanta will premiere my new work Summer Insomnia for flute choir. Have I mentioned I've been writing a lot of flute music lately? Here's one example of what I've written, and it just got its premiere in March. Then some of my favorite flute people decided to also perform the first movement and send me a video so I could finally hear it! You can also buy the sheet music for Orion's Belt!



That's it. That's what's on the agenda for the summer. So I hope everyone decides to buy my music this summer to help keep things going :) I could also use a few more commissions. I hear I'm pretty reasonable!

Railroaded for flute choir

The Atlanta Flute Club asked me if I would be one of the conductors for the Atlanta Flute Club's Honors Flute Choir this year for the Atlanta Flute Fair and that I could choose the music performed. How could I pass up the opportunity to compose something new for flute choir?

When I write for flute I like to take advantage of all the different extended techniques that the flute has to offer, however, I knew this group of flutists were young and almost had no exposure to any extended techniques. When looking at the repertoire available, I see that most pieces that use extended techniques are for more advanced players. I wanted to compose a piece that might introduce one or two new techniques, especially since I'd have a whopping total of 4 1/2 hours to prepare the choir, and we were learning several pieces. So I kept it simple. I used 3 syllables of beatboxing (ch, ki, ts) and a pitch bend.

The end result was "Railroaded" for flute choir. The piece is about 3 minutes long, and the group had a good time learning it even if it was all new. I feel the piece works great for any group at any level looking to try out some extended techniques. You can give a listen to a recording, watch a video on how to perform the techniques and purchase the sheet music as a PDF here: http://www.spottedrocket.com/Railroaded.html

Crazy Yet Amazing Week ahead.

Conducted "Footloose" orchestra

If only the whole year could be as busy as it has been up until this point. Right now it seems like it might stay this way until the end of June (and I couldn't be happier)! So far I've conducted 6 Footloose musicals,  performed with Clibber Jones Ensemble, had a few pieces performed/premiered, and secured a commission. If only this keeps up and I don't have a repeat of last summer.

So what's up next? Next week is crazy, yet amazing. On Tuesday, I travel with Terminus Ensemble to give a masterclass and perform at the University of Tennessee. On Thursday, I give a masterclass and perform with Perimeter Flutes at Georgia State University (we are performing my "French Quarter" at the masterclass and "Coalescence" at the concert). On Friday, my sister rolls into town so we can prepare for our presentation "When Tooting Your Flute Is A Pain in Your Neck" at the Atlanta Flute Fair on Saturday...did I mention I am also conduction the Honors Flute Choir at the Flute Fair where my piece "Railroaded" will be premiered and running a booth with my husband for Spotted Rocket Publishing? Yeah...crazy week, but all good things.

So I really haven't had a lot of time to think about what I want to accomplish. I suppose I should leave that

Me, pianist Kaju Lee, and tuba player Bill Pritchard 

to the slower summer times to make any plans. I do know what I want to compose, but plans change depending on who I meet and interact with. So far a must do is a flute choir piece commissioned by the Flute Choir of Atlanta directed by Kathy Farmer. They will premiere the piece at the National Flute Convention in Washington, DC. I've been in flute composing mode for a while, and it would be great to branch out and compose some band pieces. There seems to be a need there.

In the meantime, I've got lost of upcoming concerts and compositions being performed by old and new friends. Last week, tuba player Bill Pritchard and pianist Dr. Kaju Lee gave the first public premiere of "Surus". The best premieres are those given by good old talented friends. But, looking forward to hearing about upcoming performances by people who I just met, and know they are just as talented like Areon Flutes. Who knows? Maybe I'll finally make it out to California, however, my bank account still likes to say otherwise. Regardless, I am certainly looking forward to this year. Its been pretty exciting so far.

Turning It Around...Finally!

This summer was not a total wreck, but it certainly was hairy. I am THANKFUL that things have finally turned a corner. Students are back in full force, I've been hired to play, hired to lecture, hired to compose, and getting some positive feedback from all those competitions where I submitted my scores. I'm embracing the colder months because they bring work and I can heat the home!

There have been some pretty amazing highlights, and not everything I can share just yet. Probably the top of the list is being awarded 2nd place for my composition "French Quarter" by the Flute New Music Consortium. Awards are always encouraging, especially after a barrage of rejection letters. I love my flute community. We are, for the most part, a friendly and happy bunch of people who enjoy adding to the repertoire. I'm grateful that my flute buddies get a kick out of my flute pieces, and I'm looking forward to reuniting with my flute friends at NFA and beyond.

Teresa Feliciano, Caleb Herron, Olivia Kieffer, & me

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of being both performer and composer at the NACUSA National Conference at Georgia State University. I performed my piece "Fisticuffs" with my fellow Chamber Cartel/Terminus friends at the opening concert. I had the best time giving the second performance with the original premiere performers. The bad thing about being busy musicians is that we can't always get together. The good thing is that when we all get together it's like we saw each other yesterday. We don't skip a beat with the shenanigans or how to perform together. Atlanta is packed full of fun loving, friendly, and talented musicians. Right now, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Performed Dan Morel's "Wanderings"

This past weekend really is what I love doing. I love playing new music and pushing the envelope of my playing abilities through extended techniques. I got to see old friends, make stronger friendships, and meet new people. Nothing better than being paid to do the kind of work you love with people who are fabulous to work with! I hope that kind of work keeps coming.


So what's next? A question I'm always asking myself. Well, I got a commission. I can't really share the details just yet. The contract is theoretically signed, I just need to receive it. As usual, it involves musician friends who have fun playing what I write, and I look forward to the adventures we might go on with this new piece yet to be written. In the meantime, I better buckle down with all the Christmas music and start practicing "Nutcracker" so I don't embarrass myself.

Tough Decisions

Still life of our week

This week has been chock full of tough decisions combined with the flu. My teaching and performance schedule has amped up considerably this past month (totally grateful), but that doesn't mean everything has been going smoothly professionally or personally. I was met with one of those decisions which equated to the disappointment of facing reality. I'll leave out all the personal heart to hearts I've had with family and friends as they met their own tough personal strife. Let's talk about a professional one which was especially hard to make for everyone involved.

Through a series of events that played out I was faced with a decision on whether or not to pull my piece from a concert for Friday. No composer wants to do that. Performance opportunities can be few and far between. This was going to be one of those elusive second performances that composers have a hard time securing. It became obvious after our last and only rehearsal, however, that it was going to be a scary performance, and it could be potentially embarrassing for everyone involved: the performers, the artistic directors, and myself.

Luckily, I find myself surrounded by honest friends-colleagues whose opinions I value, but as always, it was the hubs who brought the most light to the situation. What is really great about being married to someone in your profession is that your access to experience doubles. I related what happened at rehearsal, and wouldn't you know it he had to make the exact same decision for a concert before we had ever met. At his dress rehearsal, it became obvious to him that the piece being performed wasn't ready. He felt it wasn't a complete representation of the music he had written, and he pulled it. If its not ready, its just not ready and why present a misrepresentation that could be harmful to everyone involved.

For whatever reason, the though of pulling the piece never crossed my mind as an option. I get in the mindset (as a performer) that the show must go on. But I forget that it doesn't always have to go on right that moment. So as grateful as I am for everyone wanting to take a stab at it, more work needed to be done that couldn't happen by the time of the concert. I'm especially grateful that everyone was relieved, however sad, that we cut the piece. In fact, I felt better as a musician that I could focus on the other pieces we're performing. Sometimes you need to strive for quality and not quantity. I'm glad the artistic directors feel the same way.

Two Premieres & Performances

Wilderness Act Performance Series Premieres on Sunday at 3pm!
On Sunday, September 28 at 3pm two of my compositions will be premiered at the Outdoor Activity Center, 1442 Richland Road, Atlanta, GA 30310, by Chamber Cartel as part of the Wilderness Act Performance Series to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Wilderness Act. I attended 3 days in the field at preserves associated with the Western Atlanta Watershed Association: Beecher Hampton Nature Preserve, Bush Mountain Outdoor Activity Center and Cascade Springs. Based on my experience visiting these beautiful nature parks on the heart of Atlanta's West End I created "Watersheds" for flute, alto saxophone, baritone saxophone, piano, and percussion and "Mimic" for two piccolos. I will be there for the premieres conducting (Mixed meter, yikes!) "Watersheds" and performing with flutist Jessica Sherer on "Mimic". Stick around after the premieres to hear Thomas Avery's composition as well as works by artists Kris Pilcher, Mollie Taylor and poet Rev. Marti Keller.

85th Birthday Celebration of Composer Charles Knox at GSU 
I will be performing two pieces by Composer Charles Knox as part of his birthday celebration on September 30 at 8pm at Georgia State University's Kopleff Center. I will perform "Music from the Outer Edge" with Perimeter Flutes and "Familiar Objects Seen in a New Light" with clarinetist/composer Dr. Nick Demos, violinist Dr.Christos Galileas, pianist Raffi Besalyan, and cellist Yannis Tsitselikis. Do you ever google people you are suppose to work with and feel a bit out of your league? Yeah, I'm having that moment right now. Time to practice!

Halloween Flute Duet!

So maybe I got ahead of myself posting about the Christmas Flute Duets the other day. Never fear! I managed to find some time and crank out a flute duet for Halloween. The best familiar tune I could think of (that was in public domain) was Funeral March of a Marionette by Charles Gounod. Like many people, I was really only familiar with the theme played in the Hitchcock TV series. So when I dug around and found the original piano piece, I was surprised to find so much more to the work. That's why I love doing these simple arrangements. It makes me do score study. It flexes my composition skills in a different way. I have to to pay attention and figure out what is most important. How does this piece work? How will it translate? Hopefully, things rub off when I write my original pieces. For right now, enjoy this arrangement and hopefully some time soon I'll record it and eradicate that awful MIDI rendering:

http://www.spottedrocket.com/FuneralMarch.html

Christmas Music for Flute Duets!

Oh yes, its about that time of year where I start touting all the Christmas Music I've arranged for flute duet. I know its only September, but they time you factor in search engines finding this article and the prep time musicians need to get their Christmas Music practiced and in a Christmas program for the season it makes me start peddling them in September. Actually, I work on them all year - even when I'm not in the mood. I'll put on QVC's Christmas in July programs and I get the courage to start putting a few more arrangements out.

I originally made my first few flute duet arrangements out of frustration. I had some really talented students who wanted to sight read Christmas music in their lessons, but the majority of the duets out there are ridiculously easy. Not a challenge at all. So I tried to make some challenging ones which included changing meters from simple to complex, and also playing in the higher register. I posted my first one "Silent Night" on a flute forum, and I took my dogs on a walk. When I got back, I had a half dozen orders waiting on me. So I did a few more. I have arrangements of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen", "Jingle Bells", "Silent Night", "Coventry Carol", "What Child Is This?", "O Come, O Come Emmanuel", "We Three Kings of Orient Are", and "Pat-a-Pan"

Not only did the arrangements help my students get some extra practice while having fun, but we were able to have extra money for our Christmas that year - not to mention how it helped build my skills as a composer. So every so often, I'll arrange a few more. I even did some Easter Flute Duets as well as Wedding Flute Duets. All this duet arranging got me thinking - I should write an original flute duet using extended techniques that I love, like beatboxing. Chatter for flute duet was born.

I'm grateful that teaching my students led to arranging which led to writing an original composition I'm proud of. Who would have thought? Now go buy my Christmas Music for Flute Duet :) Did I mention they work for violin as well?

Keep On Keepin' On

Mikey (1997-20014)

Let's just say this summer has been less than stellar for the Chamberlains. We've had a lot of emotional and financial kicks in the gut (our beloved kitty dying, car accident, lack of commissions, and student drop off for the summer), but there's been some really wonderful moments too (5 year anniversary, trip to see the in-laws in beautiful Pennsylvania weather, visits to local parks, lots of composing, etc). Luckily, its been nothing we can't handle, and in 30 years we'll laugh about all the nuttiness this summer has offered us. The one thing we have learned is that we must keep on keepin' on. We doing everything right, its just every once in a while we're going to hit some obstacles and we've got to get around them.

There does seem to be some light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just starting to get a trickle of student returning from the summer, and even a couple of new students. I'm starting to get notifications about compositions of mine being performed by others, and I am looking forward to deciding what I would like to compose for in the future. The good thing about not having any commissions lined up is that I can choose what I would like to do, but keeping in mind to compose for friends. Nothing makes me more frustrated than composing a piece that sits on a shelf never to be performed.

As I wrap up this composition for the Wilderness Act Performance Series, what's next? I use to have a hard Nick Demos' blog posts have confirmed what I have always feared is true. You have to keep thinking ahead. I can't be all Scarlet O'hara and worry about it tomorrow or I'll find myself with nothing to work on next.

Checking out Bush Mountain for WAPs

time thinking about another composition beyond the one I am working on, but the past year and

I know (hopefully) starting in September my schedule will ramp up in the teaching and performing department which will lead little time for composing. At least not the hours I got to spend this summer. I'll be lucky to get two hours a day. Projects I would like to work on, because I've had requests, are a flute choir piece and another band piece. So hopefully, by the end of the year I'll have a couple new compositions ready for premieres.

In the meantime, while income is not what we would like it to be, its doable. I'm thankful that the only sacrifices we have to make is that we can't travel or buy the extras. We just keep paying the bills and think of creative free ways to spend our time together (thank you, Ingress, state parks, and the library). If we keep on keepin' on the work will pay off and things will get rolling again. Hey, its the summer. It's all a part of being a freelance musician.

Summer Doldrums

Sailors and pirates feared that area near the equator of the earth call the Doldrums where there was no wind for the ship's sails to capture and move forward on the journey. Freelance musicians have a time of the year where the gigs, students, and therefore money dries up. That time is called the Summer Doldrums. Little or no money comes in, but you still must press forward and pay your bills. Most times, you can limp by with teaching summer camps, playing weddings, or a trickle of dedicated students that will continue lessons over the summer. I've been lucky with most students sticking through the summer, and usually I have a big composition project that will help us stumble along until we reach the glorious horse latitudes of September.

This summer has been different for me. A majority of my students have been able to go to various away camps, go onto college, or visit the grandparents. My effort to find a commission for the summer has been unsuccessful. I expect this June's paycheck from students will be the lowest of the year. Luckily, we anticipated a hard month, and we made sure we had no credit card debt...until the cat got sick and the hubs was in a car wreck (he's fine!) all in the same week, last week.

It happens. Life decides to see what you can take. So we're taking it. It's helped make a lot of decisions for

us. For example, I won't go to the National Flute Association Convention this year, we won't take a vacation, and we had to sell some stock options to cover the bills. This should get us through the next two months if I can maintain my student load, and hopefully the kiddies come back soon - and if ASCAP could dump a nice performance royalty check in my bank account this month, that would be great.

At least things are stable and I don't have to get another job, for now. I'll just keep writing and hope to sell some music. Maybe I'll get a gig. Maybe I'll get new students. It's all part of living on the edge in a freelance world. I'll keep waiting, and maybe some air will fill the sails of our tiny ship. In the meantime, I'll be on a hardtack diet made of peanut butter sandwiches and tap water for the summer, but it's still worth it! Avast ye, mateys!

If you enjoy my nautical writing, you might enjoy my nautical composing. Listen to "Nautica" for solo piano.

Being Available

We've all done it. We all at some point waited by the phone for that job offer, that person we met the night before, gig, or the potential to hang out with friends. We end up waiting and waiting, and no one called. We got nothing out of it besides catching up on "Mad Men", and as fun as that is, its not the same as being out and living life or making things happen. Sometimes we have to stop waiting for the next best thing and just go out and make things happen on our own. Sometimes we might miss out on that phone call, but I've learned the greater risk is doing nothing.

 I'm at that point right now. I'm in between commissions. I have a lot of potentials, but nothing committed. Summer is upon me. Students are taking off for the summer to travel and go to camp. Performance opportunities always dry up for me in the summer since I am not in a pops orchestra or do a lot of weddings. So I better look for something to do, on my own. It may not make money immediately, but it could. Its certainly better than waiting around for something to happen that might not. I could sit around and wring my hands in anticipation or I can sit down and compose something I might not get to otherwise. It's rare that I find myself in that situation where I say, "I wish I hadn't committed myself to this gig, now that so and so called me for something better". But it is starting to happen, especially within the last month. I had to give away 3 paying gigs to do 3 low or no pay gigs. Sure, I think I should reduce the free pay gigs unless its something incredibly unusual that I haven't done before and I have a lot to gain professionally or musically. I also know its best to be out doing rather than staying at home not doing. I just have to evaluate what's on my plate each time an opportunity makes itself known. I will say, it does sting to get a call from an orchestra to sub where the flute section is fabulous and loveable. On the other hand, that orchestra didn't select me on the audition so I did get to turn them down - to play a free gig I had committed to months in advance. At least the free gig was a benefit concert and we performed my music. Regardless, it was bittersweet. I just keep saying to myself, "It's a good problem to have." It doesn't mean its always easy to make those decisions, but its time reevaluate what jobs I take - free, low, or otherwise.

 So here I am, at a crossroads. Do I wait and hope for Mr. McDreamy to call me, or do I buckle down and write that flute and piano piece I've been meaning to write for the past 20 years? I think it might be time...

A Year After a Performance

I do enjoy looking forward to recordings of past performances. Some more than others. It's like getting a report card. Sure I felt good or even bad about a performance, and then I can listen to the recording and get a reality check. Was it as bad as I thought, or was it as good as I thought. Could my mistakes be perceived?

Another reason I like to get a recording is I get to relive the enjoyment I may have gotten out of performing a piece. I love playing, I really do. I love it more when I get to play with friends. It's like going on a roadtrip with your pals where there's a fabulous party at the end. The recording is the souvenir from that trip. You can look back and remember what a good ride that was, even if you broke down in the middle of nowhere. You can get something out of every trip for better or worse.

In May 2013, I performed a couple of works for the Terminus Ensemble recital at the end of an already packed month of gigs, commission deadlines, and performances. I was beat. In fact, the hubs and I were going on a long overdue vacation the next morning. I was performing two pieces that had their own emotional and technical demands. It was a challenge, but a challenge I knew I couldn't pass up on. In the end, I knew I was going to be a better musician because of these pieces. I just got the videos this morning.

The first piece I performed on the recital has been the most challenging piece I have had to work on in a long time, "Echolalia" by John Anthony Lennon. Parts of this piece scared me. There was a lot of room for interpretation on this piece and I only had one recording to go by. Luckily, like in all Terminus Ensemble pieces, the composer lived in Atlanta and I had met him before. So when in doubt, call the composer. As a performer, I do enjoy meeting the composer and talking. At the very least, I'll get to know the composer a little better and verify what's on the page. I know not all performers like to do that, but I like to have that line of communication available.

John was kind enough to carve out some time out of his end of the school year obligations at Emory University to meet. When I arrived at his office, I assumed I would just play the piece in his office and I'd get some words of wisdom, but he grabbed a music stand and said "It will sound much better in the stairwell."  He was right. The swirling reverb of the stairwell added in a new factor I hadn't thought about. I knew the definition before meeting John was the often pathological repetition of what is said by other people as if echoing them. I felt there was some repetition in the figures of the music, but the reverb really brought it home. So what did we know about the performance venue? I knew it was a church, but that didn't mean it was a stone walled cathedral that would ring for days. So we had to go with a different plan, which I am glad we did. In the recording, it didn't come across as extreme as the stairwell. Looking back on the recording I wish we had ramped the reverb up electronically more. But I am happy with the performance. It came a long way from when I first got it. I hope I get to perform it again in the future. It's one of those few pieces I get to play where all the work is worth the effort. It is a beautiful piece.



After I had a sigh of relief from performing "Echolalia" and was able to get over the post performance jitters, I had to get my mind right to perform an emotional taxing piece, "Twenty-One" by Tim Jansa. In August of 2010, conductor Robert J. Ambrose and his wife, flutist Sarah Kruser Ambrose, lost their son Zachary after twenty-one weeks of pregnancy. In memory of their child, Robert and Sarah asked composer Tim Jansa to write a piece for flute and accompaniment – originally for piano – which Sarah herself would be able to perform in memory of her son. Sarah had already premiered the piece, and there had been another flutist who had performed the piece as well. Sarah is a flutist in Atlanta, and someone who I know and admire. Naturally, I discussed the performance of the piece with Tim and Sarah. Performing a piece like this is always tricky. You want to be emotionally involved in the piece, but you have to keep from crossing that line into letting it break down the performance. (Soprano Anne Bird had a great blog post about this years ago -like a decade ago- and I always think about it while perform - I can't find it! UGH!)

The good thing about performing this piece, is that I had a pal who had my back on piano - Ipek Eginlioglu. There was a a moment when I was feeling, and not thinking. I nearly missed my entrance, but I got a reassuring look from Ipek that kept me from derailing.(You can catch that look at 4:43) Now that's a friend who knows when you're head isn't in it and can bring you back to the present! This girl had a lot to deal with that day. There were keys on the piano that were not quite working. She dealt with it like the pro she is.




So what is good about seeing a video of yourself performing and not just hearing an audio? Well I can find a lot of complaints, but what you never give much attention to is the pre and post performance action. Like that I am so floppy when I recognize my colleagues. It looks like I am not excited about working with them, but I'm just awkward, and not a touchy feely person. So I need to work on that. I need to channel my inner diva and look like I feel instead of just trying to get off the "stage" as fast as possible. My playing issues, I won't tear a part in public, but I'm not gonna like, I got some things to work on. I'll always have things to work on. That's part of the fun of it all. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

It was an incredibly rewarding experience. The crowd was small, but that was a good music making day. I'm looking forward to our concert on the 27th where I get to perform with my buddies again.

New Things

I am not a creature of habit. I rarely like to repeat myself. I love to experience and try new things, especially when it comes to music and travel. Perhaps that's why I love to perform new music and compose. I like to try and experience music I have not heard before and even better, when it has never been performed before. The past few months have been a healthy dose of repetition and new things. Over the past year I have traveled to Hartford, CT 3 times. Don't get me wrong, Hartford is a neat town filled with fabulous musicians (courtesy of the Hartt School) and friends. Luckily, I've been to Hartford 3 times because I've had 3 different premieres - "Trajectory", "Elasticity", and "Stridulation". Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone to hear the same piece performed. I try to go to all my premieres. I'll even try to go to repeated performances if its a place I've never visited before and I can swing the money for the travel. Any excuse to travel, even if it might be some remote college town in the middle of a corn field - say Missouri, but that's another blog post.

So what does a girl do when she can't come up with the finances to travel to glamorous places? Well she tries all sort of new things in town. I decided to get out of my comfort zone and teach a workshop at the Atlanta Flute Fair called "Beatboxing to a Better Bach". I am by no means an expert in beatboxing. I leave that to Greg Patillo, but I use it in my music and I do have the basic understanding. So teaching a group of beginner beatboxers wouldn't be beyond my scope, right? Sure! It went well to my surprise. I certainly succeeded in getting EVERYONE dizzy. So by the end of the workshop I'm sure no one could remember anything.

Sometimes I'll even try things I probably have NO business doing, like conducting a musical's orchestra. Sure I had to take orchestral conducting in college and I have to conduct the church choir every once in a while, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't qualify me as a legitimate conductor. Somehow, I find myself saying, "Sure, I'll do it. As long as you understand I've never done this before." So I conducted my church's annual fundraiser musical. This year it was "The Music Man". I thank my lucky stars that its a musical with only 3 tempos: March, Ballad, and waltz. I was also behind a screen with the orchestra, so I'm sure I wasn't distracting anyone, and every orchestra left the pit with two eyes every show.

Now because each time this year I've tried something new, I decided to go WAY out of my comfort zone and make a fool of myself at the same time this week. I have no shame, and I'll try anything to spice up my musical life. Since I was little - 9 maybe? - I've owned a jaw harp. I've never done much with it except annoy my family on long car rides. (The jaw harp was foolishly bought by my parents on a 9 hour car ride from St. Louis, MO to Savannah, GA. They never thought I'd figure it out. It took 10 minutes. 8 hours and 50 minutes of jaw harpin' with popular 80's tunes on the radio!) So when a buddy of mine in Mercury Orkestar asked a group of percussionists I was standing with if any of them played jaw harp, I pounced! I've already had one appearance this past weekend, but on Friday at 7:45 at Smith's Old Bar I'll play 50 cents' "In Da Club" with Mercury Orkestar on jaw harp for 500 Songs for Kids. I do it for the kids, people!

 So what's next? What am I gonna do to keep it all interesting? Well I really don't know. I'm finishing up a commission for Clibber Jones Ensemble which has been a new composition challenge, but I'm sure I need to find my next scary and ridiculous challenge. I'm open to suggestions. Summer is a perfect time to do crazy things, at least I can blame the heat.

Clibber Jones Ensemble Commission!

I am one of 9 composers who are being commissioned by the Clibber Jones Ensemble. I will write a 7 minute piece for the band, but they ensemble is in the process of raising money so we can all get a little bit of money for our efforts. Clibber Jones is a fabulous group of musicians that I have had the pleasure of working with in the past. Please donate a few bucks to our cause!
Yes, that's me jamming out on tambourine with the Clibber Jones Ensemble :)

Debut at the National Flute Association Convention

On Thursday I make the journey with my flute quartet, Perimeter Flutes, to New Orleans for the National Flute Association Convention. I have a small confession, I've only been to one flute convention and that was 2 years ago. I am was never interested in going until I decided the convention 2 years ago in Charlotte, NC was too close to miss out on. Now I'm hooked. There's so much good stuff going on and you get to see all your long lost flute friends, and meet the ones you've been stalking online. This year I'm not just an audience member, I am performing and two of my compositions will be performed.

On Thursday, August 8, at 12:30pm,"Tamar" will be performed by a group who all met on Twitter, myself included. The musicians are Tammy Evans Yonce, Meerenai Shim, Alexis del Palazzo, and Kathy Farmer (who was gracious enough to fill in for me!) It was a last minute addition to the program, so unfortunately I might not be in attendance. I'm gonna try my best to get there in time, but I don't know if it will be physically possible. I think this will be the 5th ensemble to sink their teeth into "Tamar".


On Saturday, August 10, at 2:45pm, "French Quarter" will be premiered by Perimeter Flutes. This is where I make my debut performing at the NFA Convention. Nothing like performing your own flute composition for a bunch of flutists to really add an interesting sense of pressure. I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully it will interest other flutists who might want to perform it or commission me to compose something for them.

Another big part of what I am looking forward to is seeing all the people. Mainly, I'm looking forward to old friends, commissioners (new and old), and fast friends I've made with like minded flutists. The four days I'm at NFA will be crammed with performances, sight seeing, and most of all good times with friends. Let's just hope I can stay awake for all of it to enjoy it all.

I wish I could say when I get back home from convention I could rest up, but that doesn't look like it will happen. I will cram all my students into a short 3 day work week and head back up to Connecticut to hear Cuatro Puntos premiere "Elasticity". Seriously, its Christmas in August for me.

Remembering the Fearless Whistler

By the time I arrived in Athens, GA to audition for admittance into the University of Georgia's School of Music, I already had my heart set to attend the University of Central Florida. Then I met Dr. Ronald Waln, and I knew instantly he was the teacher for me. My audition was a lesson, not a tryout unlike the rest of my auditions. I walked into his studio ready to begin my audition, but he excused himself to run to the restroom. He was missing for 20 minutes when he popped back in and asked me to run my scales. When I was done he asked, "Could you play those again? You played them much better when I wasn't in the room." He got it. His teaching style was about encouragement and growth, not about testing or pressure. When my audition was over he walked me back to my mom who was frantically driving loops around the gigantic campus since she didn't know were to park. He waited with me until my mom drove up dodging the mob of students crossing the street during the change of classes. Once I got back into the car I said to my mom "I thought I wanted to go to UCF, but now I'm not so sure."

 Dr. Waln was coming to a close of his teaching career when I started my freshman year. I was going to be the last graduating class he taught, but he still obviously enjoyed teaching and performing. I'll never forget his first faculty recital my freshman year. He played "The Fearless Whistler" for solo piccolo by Michael Isaacson. When this 70 year old man picked up his music stand and ran across the stage for the sake of performing the piece up to full theatrics, I knew I made the right decision to go to UGA. He understood the balance technique, work, and fun. Its something that has stuck with me through the way I work and how I teach.

 UGA's School of Music was tough. The freshman class was 95 people, and by junior year I think we were maybe 30. The rumor was that the School of Music had the highest drop out rate. It wasn't uncommon to see someone breaking down in the student lounge. I was struggling. In fact, at the end of my sophmore year I dropped by Dr. Waln's office to tell him I was dropping my music major and going to be a single major in Graphic Design if I could get in. I thought Dr. Waln would say something like, "I understand, and that's probably a more stable career anyways." But instead he said, "That would be a big mistake, and I think you should keep at it another year." Somehow I came out of that studio still as a music major, and from that time on I had a different attitude. Everything indicated I should pack it on out, but someone from the inside believed in me even when I didn't. Everybody was telling me no, but this person who listened to me for at least an hour a week was telling me that I had what it took to get through this. At first I thought he was nuts. But when someone had been teaching as long as Dr. Waln you have to believe him. It got easier from there.


I lost touch with Dr. Waln when I graduated, something I regret. I did exchange some emails with him within the last couple years and he seemed his usual upbeat self, carrying on about his wife, the house, playing bassoon again and traveling. I doubt he remembered me out of the sea of flute students he taught over his life, but I'll remember him always and hope to keep his upbeat disposition when I perform and teach.

Reliving "Rabbit Tales"

I was commissioned in 2011 to compose a children's opera for the Atlanta Opera's first ever commission. I spent the summer of 2011 composing all day most every day and had the best time. It was one of those projects that I was glad I finished because that meant I was closer to hearing a performance, but I was sad that I would no longer work on the opera. It was just too much fun composing that hour long opera for children.

The past couple days I got to relive that feel by making clips from the DVD of the final dress rehearsal in October 2011. The opera was performed over 70 times, and hearing the dress rehearsal was a reminder of how a performance ensemble can evolve in that time. Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy with the dress rehearsal, but I caught some of the last performances in 2012 and it was amazing to see/hear how comfortable the singers got with the complicated text and 7/8 time signatures that some were skeptical the singers would ever get comfortable with. They just made it seem easy. I wish I had a video of the later performances to show how the opera evolved.

Madeleine St. Romain was the librettist who had the overwhelming task of finding a way to make a 45-50 minute story out of thousands of B'rer Rabbit stories. We had quite and enjoyable time working together, and I think we both agree that this section of the opera is our favorite text-wise and musically. We knew this song did not progress the story, but it was a part we fell in love with. We even made a pact that we would make compromises on any other section, but we would fight to the death for this song to stay in. Luckily, it never was an issue:



I love the next section mainly because of what the stage director Park Cofield and music director Michael Spassov did to make this section hang together. This song could have easily gotten tedious because of the repetition, but the added "camp choreography" and the added accelerando really made me happy. This collaboration was much appreciated!



What can I say about the cast? They were fabulous and an incredible fit for each role. I didn't necessarily know who was going to be performing these parts when I was composing, but I had seen Baritone Wade Thomas performing in Atlanta Opera's production of "The Ugly Duckling" as the Big Bad Wolf, and that always stuck with me when I was composing "Rabbit Tales" and I hoped that the Atlanta Opera would be able to cast Wade as King Lion. You can see why below:



I think the cast did really well with the ensemble singing, and I especially love the last segment because of their interaction, the stage props, and that I could legitimize eating pie while I was composing the "Pie" song.



I have some serious admiration for the singers and pianist for this production. This was a high energy opera with lost of text, music, and stage direction to remember. Sometimes they performed the opera 3 times or more in one day after traveling a couple hours all before noon wearing crazy costumes. This was an amazing collaboration. I don't really collaborate because the opportunity like this rarely comes along for me, but if all collaborations went like this I would do it everyday. And of course none of this wouldn't have happened if the Atlanta Opera's Education Director Emmalee Iden hadn't had the story idea and been an advocate for me to be the composer. It's really an experience that I will look back on as a pivotal moment in my career and life.