Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Being Available

We've all done it. We all at some point waited by the phone for that job offer, that person we met the night before, gig, or the potential to hang out with friends. We end up waiting and waiting, and no one called. We got nothing out of it besides catching up on "Mad Men", and as fun as that is, its not the same as being out and living life or making things happen. Sometimes we have to stop waiting for the next best thing and just go out and make things happen on our own. Sometimes we might miss out on that phone call, but I've learned the greater risk is doing nothing.

 I'm at that point right now. I'm in between commissions. I have a lot of potentials, but nothing committed. Summer is upon me. Students are taking off for the summer to travel and go to camp. Performance opportunities always dry up for me in the summer since I am not in a pops orchestra or do a lot of weddings. So I better look for something to do, on my own. It may not make money immediately, but it could. Its certainly better than waiting around for something to happen that might not. I could sit around and wring my hands in anticipation or I can sit down and compose something I might not get to otherwise. It's rare that I find myself in that situation where I say, "I wish I hadn't committed myself to this gig, now that so and so called me for something better". But it is starting to happen, especially within the last month. I had to give away 3 paying gigs to do 3 low or no pay gigs. Sure, I think I should reduce the free pay gigs unless its something incredibly unusual that I haven't done before and I have a lot to gain professionally or musically. I also know its best to be out doing rather than staying at home not doing. I just have to evaluate what's on my plate each time an opportunity makes itself known. I will say, it does sting to get a call from an orchestra to sub where the flute section is fabulous and loveable. On the other hand, that orchestra didn't select me on the audition so I did get to turn them down - to play a free gig I had committed to months in advance. At least the free gig was a benefit concert and we performed my music. Regardless, it was bittersweet. I just keep saying to myself, "It's a good problem to have." It doesn't mean its always easy to make those decisions, but its time reevaluate what jobs I take - free, low, or otherwise.

 So here I am, at a crossroads. Do I wait and hope for Mr. McDreamy to call me, or do I buckle down and write that flute and piano piece I've been meaning to write for the past 20 years? I think it might be time...

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